A recent fall out between two of my close friends, had me
questioning ‘the person I see when I am
with them, is that the ‘real them’?’
In a conversation with friend 1, I said about friend 2 that I find it
interesting that friend 2 knows everything about friend 1 and I, yet friend 1
and I don’t really know a lot about her.’
Friend 2 plays a role of being shy, innocent, naive and quite prudish.
Friend 1 and I are very similar in that we are quite extroverted in personality,
as well as share similar morals and values.
Despite friend 2 being quite introverted, in comparison to
friend 1 and I, friend 2 works as a Police officer, which holds a status in the
community of law enforcement and power.
I have witnessed the transformation of her personality from introvert
and naive, to confident, strong and outspoken, once she has put her uniform on
and on the job. Her whole appearance and
demeanour are at opposite ends of the spectrum, to when she is at work and when
she is not. As Goffman argues ‘we are
always wearing masks in order to make it to the highest point possible in the
social ladder’. He believes that the
mask is our truer self, the one that we really want to be.
Therefore, when friend 1 is at work (setting), she believes
she should be respected in the community putting on the front of authority, and
believes she has power because of her belief in the rules surrounding her
position. This then forms part of her
social setting (work/colleagues).
References
Goffman, E 1971, ‘Performances’, in The Presentation of Self in Everyday Life,
Hammondworth, Penguin, pp 28-82
Jo i know what you mean when you talk about seeing different 'faces' to the people that you spend a lot of time with and I think that everyone experiences this and we ourselves had different versions of our self. My mother for one is a wonderful christian woman who attends church regularly, is part of a book club and owns a craft store. However when mum is around her siblings you can see the self that is a sister, she can be gossipy, bitchy, and a little but fun. This is not to say Mum isn't that way normally but that when not in the public eye her self is more relaxed but it can't be said that one is more real than the other just that the setting influences the self.
ReplyDeleteI myself can relate to your idea of the masks of true self. I have many different versions of myself,I tend to show many different traits and personal qualities to some and to others I think I hide some of them but highlight others. I guess it's the looking glass self in that I do change my 'self' in relation to my surrounding and who i am interacting with. I have looked at this article which discusses these ideas as well as Goffman's notions of masks and true selves. I think it's an interesting read and may be beneficial in regards to further looking into this topic.
ReplyDeleteREFERENCE:
Sinigaglia, C & Rizzolatti, G. 2011 'Through the looking glass - self and others' in Consciousness and Cognition, vol 20, issue 1, March 2011, pp. 64-74